Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
