I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
