Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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