I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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