taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
