that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize