wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
