when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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