The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize