But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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