wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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