Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
