This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
