I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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