yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize