she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
