I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
