Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
