i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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