called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
