Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
