He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
