Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
