so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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