She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
