so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
