Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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