Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize