i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
