if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
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