yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
