Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize