Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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