not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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