I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
