he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
