Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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