Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
