I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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