i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
