you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There's always time for handjobs
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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