How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I understand Curling. That high.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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