Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
