Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
