One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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