it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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