actually, I'm a sock model
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
