He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize