3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
