Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
