Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
