I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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