Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
